Jesus' General Has a Suggestion for Michelle Malkin

Friday, August 19, 2005

She loves the smell of blood in the morning

Michelle Malkin
Concentration Camp Enthusiast

Dear Mrs. Malkin,

Being a conservative Christian, I'm usually opposed to women leaving the home, but you're different from other women. Like Joan of Arc, you have the spirit of a warrior. You tore into that gold star mother, Cindy Sheehan, like a freeper at an all-you-can-eat Twinky buffet. You're passionately vicious. I like that in a public figure. It's why I vote Republican.

As much as I enjoy seeing you eviscerate grieving mothers, I think your viciousness could be applied more effectively. Your unwavering support for the war and your fierce hatred of brown people combine to make you the perfect candidate for service in Iraq. At 35, you're still eligible for duty, and your husband, like thousands of other fathers across the nation, could take care of the kids while you bring freedom to the undeserving idolators of Mosul and Tikrit.

I can almost see you now, covered in blood, feasting on the livers of your enemies, and I don't even want to think about what you'd do to the insurgents.

We need you in Iraq. Please answer your nation's call.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Note to readers: We need your help fighting the war with letters and faxes.

A helmet tip to reader stevenyc.

posted by Gen. JC Christian, Patriot | 12:34 AM