Why I Make Terrible Decisions, or, poverty thoughts
There's
no way to structure this coherently. They are random observations that
might help explain the mental processes. But often, I think that we look
at the academic problems of poverty and have no idea of the why.
We know the what and the how, and we can see systemic problems, but
it's rare to have a poor person actually explain it on their own behalf.
So this is me doing that, sort of.
Rest
is a luxury for the rich. I get up at 6AM, go to school (I have a full
courseload, but I only have to go to two in-person classes) then work,
then I get the kids, then I pick up my husband, then I have half an hour
to change and go to Job 2. I get home from that at around 1230AM, then I
have the rest of my classes and work to tend to. I'm in bed by 3. This
isn't every day, I have two days off a week from each of my obligations.
I use that time to clean the house and soothe Mr. Martini and see the
kids for longer than an hour and catch up on schoolwork. Those nights
I'm in bed by midnight, but if I go to bed too early I won't be able to
stay up the other nights because I'll fuck my pattern up, and I drive an
hour home from Job 2 so I can't afford to be sleepy. I never get a day
off from work unless I am fairly sick. It doesn't leave you much room to
think about what you are doing, only to attend to the next thing and
the next. Planning isn't in the mix.
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